btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
