Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
