Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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