And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
