we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This baby is an asshole
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
