i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
