i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
