I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
