dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
