what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
