What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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