tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
