Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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