some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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