two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
