Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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