she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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