Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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