ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
