we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
