Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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