Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
