I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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