There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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