Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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