Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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