Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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