we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
