distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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