The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
ttyl tear gas
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize