just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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