I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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