Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am available for nakedness
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
