Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize