ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
