well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
