i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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