Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
