she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
