you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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