Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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