This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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