is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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