When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
