D3 body, D1 cock
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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