True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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