i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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