That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
