do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize