Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
