Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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