i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Randomize
