It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
