The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
