yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize