I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
