he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize