Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
