someone threw a dead crab at me
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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