Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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