Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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