All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
