Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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