I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
