he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize